Mike Jurewicz’s Blog

Well to just say I was somewhat let down for my birthday again this year. Sure Lane and Chris hung out with me all night and I love those two for all they do for me but it sucks when you really want to see someone in particular and they let you down. But not even a let down that they said they couldn’t come but a let down that they didn’t even call to say they weren’t coming. To top it all off I didn’t even get an apology for it. I don’t ask for much I think and I just wanted one night that I could spend with the most important people in my life. And it sucks to think that a person that I would do anything for can’t even make an hour or two in their life for me anymore. I use to matter and be important to them but all of a sudden I’m not.

What happened? What did I do so wrong that my friendship let alone love for this person doesn’t even matter. Every time I ask to hang out my request is ignored, I am given some excuse or just straight out lied to. I sometimes think that the only way they would actually come and see me is if I was in a hospital bed dying. Pretty sad I know but they have seemingly taken a wonderful and caring friendship and thrown it away. I have no apparent meaning to them. They are doing to me now what she watched happen to their cousin not to long ago.

I don’t know what hurts more, not getting attention from the person I love with all my heart or being completely ignored by someone I consider one of my best friends. They are both occurring and by the same person. I have never been given a reason why this is happening despite my cries for answers. I am always given the usual “you didn’t do anything” explanation which seems so far from the truth. I have lost a good amount of friends over the years. Mostly because I decided I didn’t want their friendship any longer for reasons such as selfishness, greed and just being down right shitty people. I got down my friends to the essential people in my life. It’s not many people but it’s the people I trust the most. It’s the people that I feel that I can go to whenever I need help. I hate thinking that not only does she not love me but seemingly doesn’t even care about our friendship or me as a person at that.

Well on a different topic I had this dream a few days ago where someone was trying to kill one of my friends but while trying to do that accidentally killed 2 of my other friends.  Through the dream I never know who did it or why they were trying to kill the friend.  But last night I seemed to have had part 2 of the dream.  I was driving with someone who then told me it was them who was trying to kill my friend and that the 2 that they actually killed were not meant to die but got in the way.  I flipped out on the person and they just continued driving without any emotion.  They then pulled up to a house and got out of the car and went up to the trunk of the car parked in front of us.  They opened the trunk and pull out a gun and pointed it at me.  This is when I woke up.  I was scared shitless.  Just thought it was really odd and wanted to write about it.

Well I have to work this weekend and am on call the entire two days so if someone needs help at 3 am I have to help them.  Sucks yeah but I get a 4 day weekend following that.  But overall I am just so down.  I can’t stop thinking about this person and how I don’t seem to matter to them anymore and for no apparent reason.  I don’t know what to do or say anymore.  I had been thinking about postponing my move but now I feel like I definitely have to do it.  I don’t know.

For the passed few years my birthday has not always been the day it’s usually reserved to be. Typically your birthday should be spent with friends and family in a sort of fun spirited celebration.

Your 21st birthday is day that almost any one that isn’t edge usually looks forward to. I was one of those typical people waiting for that day. Of course this didn’t mark the first time I ever drank. Like any underage adolescent I’ve had my experiences with alcohol well prior to my 21st. Well my 21st started with a bit of tragedy.

A few weeks prior a friend of mine at that time (not anymore) had the absolutely horrific lose of his mother. A good woman who went far to early. Well low and behold her funeral is made to be on my birthday. Of course this isn’t anyone’s fault and I’m not blaming anyone, it just sucks to have to start your birthday with a funeral. All be it the rest of the day went by fine you still don’t want to be mourning anyone’s death on your birthday.

My 22nd was rather uneventful as I went to a show with a few friends, but then my 23rd rolled around. I woke up feeling a little congested but during the winter I have the tendency to have that on a lot of mornings. So I got up and went to work. As the morning went on I started not really feeling well. Coughing, sneezing, sore throat, the works. Topped of by the seemingly lack of people wishing me a Happy Birthday. One friend at work wished me one and it was followed by other employees that heard him. A phone call or 2 came in but some people that I expected to hear from were absent with their wishes. Well I ended up leaving work early and going to the doctor’s office to be told I had an upper respiratory infection. The nurses and doctor all felt absolutely horrible after asking my birth date to check their records only realizing that today was my birthday and hear I was sick and in the doctor’s. A birthday I wanted to forget really soon.

And last year I was determined to have a good birthday starting off with playing a show the night before at Backbone Music. A few friends had told me they would be coming to hang out and watch so I was super excited. Moments before we started I walked around the inside and outside of the store looking for any signs of anyone. I saw no one. I went inside feeling completely alone and I picked up the mic. I absolutely ravaged my voice that night putting out so much emotion and pain. One person there said it was the most passionate they had ever seen me perform.

Then on the day itself I went to work barely able to talk. Having to whisper to everyone at the office and customers on the phone. Luckily they let me leave early being my birthday. I went home and just sat around waiting to go to dinner with my family. I was a really nice dinner at Saito’s Hibachi and I was pleased with that. Also this year more people gave me calls to wish me a Happy Birthday which was nice but I was still ultimately upset about the night prior. I did nothing that night as no one seemed that interested in doing anything so I called it a night early and went to bed.

I have been honestly dreading today for quite sometime. With just the way life has been handing me disappointment after disappointment I just had a feeling that this year would be one different from any other year. I made plans for dinner tomorrow with a few really close friends and then a night of drinking. But today is the day itself and it already has started off a little on a bad foot. Talking to a friend last night who was crying and upset somehow turned around eventually to my problems I have been dealing with and led to me crying at 12:07 am on December 20, 2007. What a way to start my day. I was reminded of what I miss and what I can’t have but what I want to have so badly, not that it’s not on my mind a lot already. I will try to get through today alright. I look forward to hearing birthday wishes from my family and friends and hold on to a little wish that maybe will come true. Probably won’t but I can wish can’t I? And hopefully make it to tomorrow and have a nice time with my closest of friends.

With the most shows all out of new shows and others finishing up soon you have to wonder what is there to watch? Sure you could watch reruns but why not take the time to find something new and exciting on TV that you may have never known about? I’ve always been open to this and it has led me to some awesome stuff like 30 Rock & Heroes. So I’ll give you a recommendation, The Flight of the Conchords.

The Flight of the Conchords is both a TV show and a band. The band is a two man group made up of New Zealanders Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie. They bill themselves as “Formerly New Zealand’s fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo.” All in all the songs are funny and meant to be that way.

The show is a fictionalized take on the band as they move to New York in hopes of making it big. They are helped out by their manager Murray, who manages the band during business hours of his normal job, and Dave, a pawn shop worker that gives them advice. The guys struggle to get gigs and constantly have to fight off advances of their only fan, Mel. But mostly it is just about their life in New York. They will break into song usually a couple times a show and they are usually side splitting at the least. See below for a clip of the song Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros.

Flight of the Conchords can be seen on HBO. Click here to visit their site and check a schedule of airings. Or you can pick up the complete Season 1 DVD’s at your favorite electronics dealer.