The Move
Over the past year a lot has changed in my life. Not so much anything about me and who I am but the people around me. I guess I’m coming to the hard conclusion that people change, that or you never really know some people.
I try really hard to make sure people understand me and know what I’m all about. Not necessarily know everything about me but just know where I stand on things. But while doing that I come to expect the same from people and it just seems to be much harder for others to do it than myself.
I’ve lost friends before but really lost a good amount of them this year. I had the success hungry degenerates of band mates betray me. I had a good friend decide that I’m not worthy of respect and honesty from her because she didn’t “like” me anymore. And I had the girl I love just walk out my life without even a word. Then walk back in and walk out and in and out. You get the point?
While all that occurred I’m lucky to say I still had some amazing friends who were there for me. Those I could turn to in my time of pain. They may never know just truly how much it meant to me. It saved me from near insanity I believe at times.
But sometimes you just get fed up and you say, “I’ve had enough.” Everyone that knows me knows I’ve never been a fan of living in Florida. I always said I would go back to Philly someday. I just never expected it to be under the circumstances that they are. But I am not going to expand on that as mostly everyone knows all the different reasons why I’m leaving. So rather I would like to take the time to thank those down here that mean something to me and always will.
I’ll start with the friend I met before we were friends, Lane. Met him my sophomore year of high school and we had a couple classes together. I tortured the kid, plain and simple. And it wasn’t until about 3 or 4 years later that we met up again working at Perkins. We talked about music which always became one of our main interests together. He always had the desire to find a band I didn’t know and have me like them since I was so picky. And after many years he finally did this past year, Penfold. Good job Lane. He’s been there for me through some very rough spots and although he can be very lazy (I can too) he usually pulls through. He would talk about moving with me many times but just never really seems ready with the other things in his life. I would like him to move up there sometime (Though it will be rough on him as sports fan) but only when he is ready.
Then there are the most consistent people in my life, David and Vicki. If you call me on Saturday afternoon you know where I am at 99.8% of the time. The .2% that I am not there is because I’m either working, out of town or they are out of town. I’ve been hanging out with David on Saturdays for 4 plus years I believe. Starting at his parents’ house playing video games to their house now playing video games and watching movies and me getting piss drunk and other things. I’m honored that I got to be the best man for their wedding. There house is like a second home to me. Their family opens up there home and hearts to me every Saturday and any other day that I so please. I’ve never felt so truly welcomed in a place outside of my own family. It will be very hard to try to figure out what hell to do with myself on Saturdays in Philly. Maybe catch a ball game. But I’ve watched their relationship through so many things that have made them stronger and better people. All the while helping me deal with my own shit while they have their own problems. They didn’t have to but they did. I love them and will miss them dearly along with their family and cats (even if some of them are dumb as dumb rocks).
Ah Chriser. What can be said about this kid that hasn’t been said or that he doesn’t already know about himself. You’re crazy, insane, a light weight, genuine, determined and a great all around friend. I wouldn’t have you any other way. I met him through Lane and thought he was cool but way to outgoing to be friends with me but he pretty much forced me to be friends with him and I’m glad he did. He will always make me laugh when I’m around him no matter my mood and I think truly cares about my well being. Although he is probably the most in denial about me moving. Here I am a little more than 2 weeks away from leaving and he still doesn’t seem convinced that I am actually going. He is the only person other than my mom that says I love you to me every time I hang up the phone with him. Although creepy at times I know he means it (in a totally hetero way).
Ah that brings me to Mandie. This is probably the hardest one to write and although you will read this in probably a matter of minutes it will probably have taken me quite a while to write while I sit here and try to carefully word myself. Well here goes nothing. I met Mandie through Lane, Mandie is cousins with Sandi who Lane was dating. Yes Mandie and Sandi, the andi’s. From the very start she was sweet and caring and fun to be around. We became friends really quick and hung out on a regular basis. She was into a guy and I was into a girl but I had feelings for Mandie. We went a couple years or so of not really talking much after she began dating said guy but eventually found our ways back to each other and became close again. We dated, I was dumb and I made a mistake. No I didn’t cheat on her or anything like that. We had another lull in our friendship/relationship but again found our ways back to each other. Despite her refusing to get back together with me any person in the world that saw us would have thought we were. She was one of my best friends and then out of nowhere, BOOM. She won’t talk to me, won’t return my calls, won’t call me, nothing. She would talk to me from time to time but things just never seemed the same. When she use to go out of her way to talk to me it seemed like now she would only talk to me when it was convenient for her. It broke me. Not just my heart but a lot more of me. A person who once seemingly cared about me just didn’t seem to anymore. She even no showed my birthday when telling me she would be there. And as much as it hurts to not have the girl I love anymore it hurts even more that our friendship doesn’t even seem to matter a lot of the times. And while I will miss her when I leave I have already been missing her. I miss the Mandie I use to know. But no matter what I will always hold a big place in my heart for her. I will always love her and always miss her even if she could care less.
There are lots of other people in my life as well down here but these are the ones that are very close. I contemplated putting my brother there but that’s like really obvious. I love my brother to death and I will miss him and hope some day he will make it up there too.
I would also like to just add a little something about someone else, a person I just recently met and wish I would have met a long time ago, Mariah. In the times that we have hung out I’ve enjoyed them so much. You are a great down to earth person that I can have great conversations with and feel quite comfortable around. I really wish I would have met you sooner in my life but I intend on staying close with you and hope I get to see you if you come to PA to visit.
Well I could go on just throwing shout outs here and there but I won’t. If I know you and I don’t think your a total toolbag or complete bitch then thank you. Thanks for being a friend, companion, drinking buddy, etc etc. Maybe I’ll see some of you in the future. If not good luck in your en devours.
I might make another post before I leave but I’m not sure. I’ll be pretty busy these coming weeks finishing packing and making the good bye rounds. So if I don’t catch you later Florida.
