So for the past few months my sister in law has been partaking in an upstart roller derby team down here called the Palm Beach Roller Girls.  They are still pretty new and last night was their first match/game/bout or whatever it is technically called in this sport.  Being a kick ass brother in law I went to show my support and they took on the South Florida Roller Girls from Port Saint Lucie.

And with that I begin my rant.  The so named South Florida Roller Girls are from Port Saint Lucie and that in my mind is not really South Florida.  It is considered the Treasure Coast and by beer distributing standards it is Central Florida.  And if you know me then you know that if it’s a standard in beer it is true with everything else.  So I think a name change should be in the cards there.

Now if you are use to roller derby from movies or TV you probably think there is a big old track with banked turns and junk.  Not here.  This is flat track derby and I think that has more potential for great spills, if that’s the sort of thing you want to see.  Because come on, that is some of the draw of roller derby.

Now on to the actual match.  The girls on each team have creative nicknames and numbers and dress up and modify their uniforms and equipment accordingly.  They show a good amount of creativity with this and it’s great to see a sport where the participants can do so.  Hell even the coaches and refs have nick names and gimmicks.  This is like pro wrestling on skates already! I like it.

The rules are a little hard to pick up at first but eventually you seem to get it but there is still a lot I have no clue about.  There is a lot of hand signals that the refs do including some obvious ones and some not so.  I swear they were making some of the shit up.  I’m still a little hazy on the scoring but it seems like most games can be really high scoring.

It was pretty exciting to watch.  The South Florida Roller Girls were fast.  Apparently a number of them have been doing roller derby for a long time.  Their jammers we small and like greased lightning.  The Palm Beach Roller Girls lacked these little speedsters but then again they are almost all mostly new to doing this compared to the opponents.

Also the Palm Beach jammers were getting too many penalties.  And since they are the only players on the track that can score points you can’t really score if your in the box.  Yeah their are penalties and I think some of those rules are kind of pansy.  Let them go.  No blood no foul they use to say right?

Oh man and was the MC for the match boring.  He barely spoke and when he did he had zero personality.  I think I am going to make a push for a mutiny for me to take over the position.  I could definitely liven things up in there.

And last but certainly not least, the amount of future ex wife material there was off the ways.  So I have a thing for girls with tattoos and piercings and crazy hair and stuff.  Is it so wrong?  Not at all.

So to sum it all up we have a number of attractive girls that are being creative going out on roller skates and smashing into each other.  Then they go out drinking afterward.  Yeah it was a good time and I think you would have a good time too.  Be sure to check out more information about the Palm Beach Roller Girls at http://palmbeachrollergirls.com/